The Weekly is a little bit grumpy today because just when it was on the verge of scoring a new record of how many staples it can shoots inside a litter basket with a staple-gun inside sixty seconds, it was distracted by a volley of incoming transfer news that had been close to non-existent for the best part of a week. So in order for the Weekly to get to pursue his dreams of Olympic representation after staple-gun shooting is made an Olympic sport, lets skim the transfers quickly.

Keith Armstrong did a favour for JJK by not thinking them to be quite good enough for him. After the former Dancing with the Stars star snubbed JJK, who had escaped the drop through relegation qualifiers last season, the Jyväskylä club came to their senses and pulled an ingenious capture by appointing Kari Martonen, the right-hand man of both Mika Lehkosuo at Honka and Rive Kanerva in the U21s, as coach. Although there is always the dangers of dramatic decline when a side-kick is given the leading role, Martonen will most likely NOT be joining the likes of Sammy Lee, Brian Kidd, Art Garfunkle, Batman’s mate Robin, Buzz Aldrin and Joey from Friends.

Last season’s surprise package IFK Mariehamn made their first signing of the winter as 19-year-old midfield prodigy/ teetotal troublemaker Petteri Forsell arrived from VPS.

VPS, meanwhile, fanned the flames of rumours claiming Jani Lyyski is leaving Vaasa by signing Jani Tanska. IFK Mariehamn are reported wanting to get back together with Lyyski but Örebro and some other unnamed Swedish clubs are also eyeing him up in manner that suggests they might want more than just a bit of eye-candy.

Klubi 04/ HJK youngster Nosh A Lody jumped into a life-boat sent by Jaro, signing a one year deal with the Pietarsaari club.

And now for some delightful trial news…

The Weekly rubbed its eyes. Pinched itself on the arm. Padded to the medicine cabinet to make sure it had taken its daily dose of pills when it saw the news that Sasha Anttilainen, the scorer of one goal per every eighteen and a half games of Veikkausliiga football, is on a two-week trial at Atletico Madrid’s reserves. Sure, a strong boy like him comes handy in a scrap and he is decent with the ball and all that…but seriously…Atletico Madrid! The Weekly hopes he’ll get a contract because that would be such an absurd transfer. The 16-year-old Johannes Nordström accompanied Anttilainen to Madrid and, apparently, the shoo-in candidate for the title of the worst run club in Europe are not the only ones who have the hots for the youngster.

In other trial-related news, Ville Taulo has been showing his undoubted talent, that usually amounts to roughly two very promising performances in midfield until getting injured, at Serie B side Crotone and Veikkausliiga top-scorer Hermanni Vuorinen was seen as the airport with a ticket to Genk in hand, talking enthusiastically that he is now ready to go abroad. The Weekly is happy for ‘Herkku’ because a bit of travelling does everyone good at this time of the year.

Martonen sparks JJK revolution!

What the hell! It didn’t take Martonen long to get busy at Jyväskylä. Half a page to be exact. But then again, it cannot take longer than a couple of seconds, after taking a quick glance at the JJK team-sheet, to come the conclusion that JJK need goal-scoring power up-front, some ball-playing talent in midfield and experience that actually matters in defence. So, in came ex-Jaro striker Mikko Hyyrynen, returnee Touko Tumanto and everybody’s favourite former Finland centre-back/ Hannu Tihinen doppelgänger Juha Pasoja. Each were given a two-year deal.

That’s your lot then. The Weekly will now shut the computer, close the mobile, tape the letterbox shut so that nothing will distract it from pursuing his ambition of Olympic stardom.

Transfers:

Nosh A Lody

From: HJK; To: FF Jaro; 2009: 0/0; Total: 0/0; Position: D; Date of birth: 17/7/89

Petteri Forsell;

From: VPS; To: IFK Mariehamn; 2009: 12/1; Total: 12/1; Position: M; Date of birth: 16/10/90

Mikko Hyyrynen

From: FF Jaro; To: JJK; 2009: 23/4; Total: 184/47; Position: F; Date of birth: 1/11/77

Juha Pasoja

From: HamKam; To: JJK; 2009: 0/0; Total: 151/19; Position: D; Date of birth: 16/11/76

Jani Tanska

From: FF Jaro; To: VPS; 2009: 20/1; Total: 46/2; Position: D; Date of birth: 29/7/88

Touko Tumanto

From: FC Inter; To: JJK; 2009: 14/0; Total: 84/3; Position: M; Date of birth: 6/3/82